♥My memories♥.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Lately had been quite emo at times but now i seem to be back to normal liao:) Thanks for all the concerns esp my dear dear who's alway there for me, i really appreciate it alot. My dear dear has been the nice's guy that i ever met, he is very different from the guy's outside. That is why i like him in the first place, but i never had expected to meet such a guy cos most of the guy's now are jerks!!! But becos that he is such a nice guy, it made me more fearful. Maybe becos i felt inferior abt myself that i am not good enough for him. The another reason is that all this seem to be so not real to me, it seem to be like a dream that i will wake up eventually and find myself alone. There is always a fear within me maybe becos i have no confidence in love this kind of things due to previous r/s i been through that made me have those feelings. I always think that if you did not get urself involve in a r/s, you will never get hurt. I once hated love alot and vow that i will not like anyone anymore but now i not sure already cos i already broke my promises. However, i will still feel fearful abt love r/s. What shld i do so that i can get back my confidence in love and r/s, i really felt lost at times....

9:11 PM Y

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Hai....now i'm not only hurt in the inside but on the outside too:(
Ydae went cycling at east coast with my dear dear during the noon. Initially, supposingly planned to go to the zoo but eventually didnt. Luckily it did not rain during the noon, but something even worse happened which i nvr had experience in all my cycling life. I actually fell off my bike and injured myself, all thks to someone with his 'good' skills in cycling(the opp)bleh!! He all of a sudden stopped infront of me and i was cycling so fast that i didnt manage to break in time and fell off my bike. I injured my left leg and the worse of all, i was like so paiseh cus so many ppl looking lol.. But lucikly my dear dear was there for me thks alot, i didnt blame him for making me fall, i was all just an accident. Eventually we still manage to cycle for another 2 hrs.

After which, we went to took a cab to tampines to eat there but we didnt but went to marina sq instead to had our dinner at yuki yaki, however that will be the last time i goin to eat that cus we like eat the same restaurant for 2 consecutive days so both of us were sick of the food alreadi maybe the next time i go there to eat willl be next yr or so. But things didnt went on smoothly during the dinner, the atmosphere were rather tense between both of us. Sorrie abt that my dear cus i also duno wat happen to me that i all of a sudden felt so emo, maybe becos i see u being so stress up abt my injures and also the money that i made u spend for all the cab fee and choosen the same restaurant that u seem not to like it seeing u eat with so much misery, it realli make me feel so guilty. i felt so bad abt it :(

But from all the inccident that happened ydae, i learned how not to give up and let u go so easily, if last time i would have given up already. Without you my life will not be complete...

6:21 PM Y

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Being rather down and emo lately, can't really figure the actual cause to it but most likely is due to my sch work, exam results and r/s matters. All this seem to be draining off all my energy, i felt breathless now:( Things always don't go the way i wanted or wished. Sometimes i really wish that i could just vanish into the thin air and just disappear from this world. I really duno whether i can carry on with my life cus i find it all meaningless now or i can say from the beginning i already felt this way. Nobody will understand the pain i am suffering now:( I really wished to end my life if i was given the chance but sadly i wasn't :(

But i am also fortunate that i had someone which is always there to stand by me and comfort me. He is nun other than my one and only dear dear, thks alot!! Without you, my life will be totally meaningless. But i hope you can always be there by my side, i really fear that this is only short term. I really scared to lose you!!

11:15 PM Y

Monday, July 13, 2009

Ohaiyo everyone:) tis is my first time posting so early hehe! Last nite didnt really get to sleep well, not because i ned to rush on my report or exams but is jus that i can't get myself to sleep even after the medication i took. Being insomia y'dae that's why i am up so early todae and got nth to do so i decided to blog. Later i still ned to go sch for prac and lessons sian :(but this is life so i got no choice, hai...todae lesson end at 5pm, and then maybe goin to have dinner wit my dear dear:) Oh ya almost forgotten that i ned to go sch and print my stuffs so i ned to be in sch earlier ArhxX!! Better go rest somemore if not later i will be like a vombie bleh:) Gd nite everyone, no shld be gd morning hehe!!

7:33 AM Y

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Y'dae went to amk hub with my family and brought lots of stuffs, then during the nite we had dinner at simon road, the food there was damn nice, three tumbs up:)
But today i felt so sick having flu, sore throat and abit fever, feeling terrible now:( But luckily got my parents and my friends who cares for me, thks alot for their care and concern i appreciate it alot.. But must importantly i wanted to thks is my dear dear who is the one always there for me, love u so much...
Life is a misery to me especially in such a relistic world now!! I have been through so much pain

in life and how i really wish to end but i noe i can't. I went through life and death before where i was so so close to death luckily my parents saved me from hell. Maybe if at that time my parents didn't saved me and helped me alot, i won't be here typing all tis already.. So i learned to appreciate my life better now but at times i will tends to relapse again into those silly thoughts. However I will learn to love myself more and the ones who love me too like my family, my dear dear and my friends.. Now i can onli hope for the best :)

9:09 PM Y

Saturday, July 11, 2009

I really hate my life now damn sickening, really feel breathless at times:( Feel like running away from everything and give it an end especially my studies so stress up, but i noe i can't hide forever instead i will have to face it eventually. Running away is not the way to solve the problem cus the problem will always still be there rather face it should be the way. I am trying hard to face my own problem but it seem so hard but it is not impossible. I feel like survival is a challenge to me now, i duno can i overcome it?? This world is cruel nobody can help u but urself.

9:57 PM Y

Saturday, July 4, 2009

*October Star*
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

10:56 PM Y

Friday, July 3, 2009

Finally, my exams are over hurry!!! This afternoon went to juring point with my lao gong tasmin. I intended to buy sushi ingredient but eventually didnt manage to do so, maybe i goin to do sometink else for my dear dear. I acc tas to search for a present for his male collegue, n i recommended her to buy a wallet for him n we found one suitable and rangable price at john little. After which we went to shop ard, we also intended to look for a similar hand bangle to wear showing that we are best buddy forever. We manage to find one bangle at the shop oppsite fairprice-xtra which both of us like alot. The bangle is gold in colour with a heart shape dangling it look nice on us cus the design is simple and elegant, but sadly it has only one picece selling so eventually we didnt manage to get it. But i really like the bangle very much it looks so nice. it is very hard for me to find an accessories that i like alot same goes for tasmin. Nevermind we intended to go bugis to look around maybe we will find sth that we both like=)

8:18 PM Y

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Tmr will be the last paper for my MST, supposingly i should be happy about it but i dun felt that way. Rather i feel more disappointed and stress maybe becos i didnt put in effort for tis exam. I am realli scared that i will fail and scored badly. But no matter wat i must learn to get over it and do better for the next round.
After a stress and painful day, i felt much much relieved=) All thks to my dearest hubby, realli thks for bringing smile back onto my face again. I realli felt much better after all with all the laughter u brought to me. Besides, the ice age 3 movie I watched todae was also damn hilarious too, super funny!! Its realli worth watching it if u realli wan to laugh out loud. Going to watch another hilarious movie too wic is the UPs, looking forward to it hope it will be as funny as the ice age 3!! SMILE=)

9:11 PM Y